Menu Modifications

Menu item modifications have become common place at restaurants.  Some establishments allow side item substitutions while others may have a small charge for such a replacement.  I hate olives and request that they be left off of any item I order that contains them.  I believe that simple request such as these are completely reasonable and easily accomplished.  I am always happy to oblige with demands such as these because my extreme distaste for olives (and mushrooms for that matter) provide me with empathy when it comes to the issue of ingredients.  That said, there are some situations where ingredients are already premixed as in items like artichoke dips, macaroni and cheese, or coleslaw and are unable to be removed in their entirety.  But somewhere along the way the phrase “the customer is always right” became loosely translated to “I’m the customer and you have to give me whatever I want,” and it has carried with it an almost obnoxious sense of entitlement.  While omitting ingredients is a reasonable request adding items can be different.  Simple additions like a condiment or a dressing are one thing but I have seen many get down right gluttonous with their additions with items like extra cheese, bacon, avocado, barbecue sauce and sautéed mushrooms.  It should be expected for items like these to have an additional charge as these additions are not factored into the food cost of the menu item.  But what I find is outright ludicrous in behavior is ordering completely off the menu.  One time a guest seated at one of my coworkers tables requested shrimp cocktail as an appetizer when our place of employment offered nothing of the sort.  We did offer a fried shrimp platter that consisted of bite sized shrimp and two sides.  When my coworker informed his table that he could not facilitate the request his customer complained, “So much for pleasing the guest.” Now this guy thinks that we should be able to use these shrimp and whip up his request considering it seems we have the necessary ingredients: shrimp and cocktail sauce.  Obviously he doesn’t realize that pre-peeled frozen bite sized shrimp and a side of cocktail sauce does not a shrimp cocktail make.  Not only that but what he and most diners fail to recognize is that our entire ordering and ringing process is facilitated by computer.  On that computer we have buttons that directly correlate with the menu items and the prices reflected there.  I hit that button, that much of a charge is added to the bill and the name of said item is sent to a printer in the kitchen relaying to the cook what needs to be cooked.  There is no “shrimp cocktail” button on our computer.  What is there is a “fried shrimp” button that charges right under $20.  Now why would a guest want to pay $20 for an oversized and under satisfactory portion of a generic shrimp cocktail?  These computer systems also account for our inventory.  Therefore I can not ring up a $10 hamburger instead of the shrimp because then both the hamburger and the shrimp inventory counts would be off.  Another reason a server might not be able to fulfill a special request is because an item is simply not prepped.  This situation presents itself more often with diners that frequently visit a restaurant and know of certain entrees or side items that are sometimes featured off the menu and therefore should be available.  What those guest don’t realize is that the kitchens of restaurants function highly on preparation.  I’ll break that concept down a little.  Although lunch and dinner establishments typically don’t open until around 11a.m., the kitchen crew arrives at the wee hours in the morning to begin preparations on the days menu items.  As previously mentioned many items are premixed or partially precooked (items like pasta or some vegetables) in order to expedite kitchen to table service.  I’ll be more specific.  I once had a customer inquire about the availability of a lime chicken entrée that my restaurant used to offer more than three years before but was no longer on the menu.  When I told her that the kitchen was unable to prepare this dish she snapped, “Well you have chicken and you have lime.”  Now obviously seeing as how I was there five days a week to her one day a month I was well aware of the offering of ingredients at the chef’s disposal in my restaurant.  I had to politely educate this woman that the lime chicken was marinated in a tumbler in a white wine marinade for hours before it was cooked giving it its distinct flavor.  It was not something that could be recreated in a matter of minutes. Now some customers take the refusal of their special requests with understanding realizing that if we could do it we probably would but the majority of them pout like children acting as if you have just ruined their whole day by refusing them their special treatment.  Some treat me as if I take a personal satisfaction in denying them the impossible when really I could care less as I don‘t have to cook it regardless of what is ordered. To these spoiled crybabies, I say next time, get off your high horse and try ordering from the menu.  That’s what it’s there for.

Reason for Restaurant Etiquette

I wanted to expound a little bit on the purpose that this blog is intended to serve.  There are actually two.  The first is simply as the subtitle reads, it is intended to be therapeutic.  Servers have to put up with a lot of crap throughout their day.  If I have no outlet, I will hold negativity and probably spread it to those around me.  Ever been around me when I’m in a bad mood?  Then you already know.  It is also intended to be a ranting place for my coworkers both present and past, and really anyone working in the restaurant industry?  I hope you all begin to speak up because I want to know your thoughts on the subjects.  The second reason that I wanted to write this blog was to educate.  And who is my target audience?  The people who go out to eat and while they may have a grasp on proper dining etiquette haven’t any decorum when it comes to interacting with their server.  Your average server spends at least part of everyday on the bad side of one of many different social injustices ranging from being assumed an idiot, to being flat out ignored, and so on, I could name a million…therefore, the blog.  Now before I am written off as just being a Negative Nancy, I want to say that I enjoy my job.  Those guest mentioned before only make up about 25% of the people that I interact with at work.  The other 75%  are well mannered and polite, and of those, there are a select few that make my job incredible.  I have some people who when they come in always smile and greet me. Asking how I am doing and then inquiring about my children.  Over regular visits, some customers come to know my children by name, and I have even had some remember my birthday and bring in a birthday card to express their wishes for my happy day.  I have waited on celebrities, musicians (my all time favorite, Al Green at Bahama Breeze in Memphis), millionaires, billionaires, preachers, teachers, bleachers…I joke, but the point is, I never know who I’m going to meet each day when I go into work and that is one of the things I love the most about the restaurant industry.  My hope for  the guests that can put a grey cloud over my section for their visit is that they can simply be enlightened by simple information that is sometimes overlooked if one is not familiar with the inner workings of a restaurant.  Of course I know there will always be some people that are straight up A-holes and there is nothing I can do to prevent that, but I can hope that if anyone treats their server with a little more courtesy or respect  because of better understanding, then maybe a ripple from that drop of good karma will come back my way and reduce my A-hole ratio. 

Waiting on Kids

So, here is the first thing I have to ask when it comes to waiting on kids. Do parents not realize that items on the table are not toys to occupy their children? Do they not realize the care that was spent on the sugar caddy when their sticky fingered children start pulling out all of the sugar packets? Do they figure that the sugars rearrange themselves in the caddy sorted by type, pinks always on the left side, blues on the right and the whites in between. Do they assume that we pull packets straight from the box with the labels already facing the same way. And I understand the need to pacify a child but have they not been provided with crayons and an activity book or perhaps an etch-a-sketch? I sometimes wish there were a built in tip per child with as much effort as it takes to see one of these parties through a service and I’m saying this as a mother of two. Let’s compare. If a typical service looks something like this:

• Greet table, get drink order
  
• Make drinks
  
• Bring back said drinks
  
• Tell specials to table and take order
  
• Ring in order 
  
• Maintain refills 
  
• Check quality of entrées after they arrive
  
• Remove plates upon completion of entrées
  
• Offer dessert or after dinner drinks
  
• Present check
  
• Accept payment
  
• Process and return payment
  
• Thank guest and invite them to return
  
• Clear remaining items on table
  
• Wipe and reset table for new guests
  

Then a service involving children will look something more like this:

• Greet table, get drink order
  
• Make drinks - Go to cooler to get milk, stop by dessert station to get chocolate syrup, mix chocolate milk, stop by bar for “extra cherries” for Shirley Temple 
  
• Get plate of crackers for baby
  
• Bring back said drinks and crackers
  
• Tell spec…wait, Mom interrupts and asks if I can ring in chicken fingers for kids because they are hungry and therefore, have now become my number one priority
  
• Ring in chicken fingers
  
• Return to table
  
• Tell specials
  
• Repeat specials, Dad couldn’t hear over the kids
  
• Take order
  
• Ring in order
  
• Maintain refills - Back to cooler for milk, dessert station for chocolate syrup. Mix chocolate milk. Back to bar for “extra cherries”
  
• Check quality of entrées after they arrive
  
• Bring new fork, baby threw his on floor
  
• Remove plates upon completion of entrées making sure to remove cracker wrappers, crumpled baby wipes, sugar packets, and French fries scattered among table
  
• Offer dess…wait, Mom interrupts again asking for check. Baby is upset and therefore my number one priority has shifted to getting them out immediately
  
• Present check
  
• Accept payment
  
• Process and return payment
  
• Thank guest and invite them to return (hopefully on my off day)
  
• Clear remaining items from the table 
  
• Unpeel sticky placemat and spend five minutes trying to wipe off adhesive residue
  
• Wipe crumbs out of booth
  
• Wipe down highchair and return it to it’s proper place
  
• Pull table out of way to sweep up fries, cracker crumbs and a half eaten chicken finger
  
• Retrieve baby’s thrown fork from underneath table
  
• Reorganize sugar caddy, 10 pinks, 15 white, and 10 blues all labels facing the same way
  
• Polish sticky finger prints off of sugar caddy
  
• Reset table for new guests
  

Wow, see the difference? Now call me crazy but I just don’t feel like 20% or more typically 15% (I mean c’mon they are a family on a budget) of $4 chicken fingers quite cuts it for the extra service. Some may think I’m being unfair but hey, it’s my blog.