Waiting on Kids

So, here is the first thing I have to ask when it comes to waiting on kids. Do parents not realize that items on the table are not toys to occupy their children? Do they not realize the care that was spent on the sugar caddy when their sticky fingered children start pulling out all of the sugar packets? Do they figure that the sugars rearrange themselves in the caddy sorted by type, pinks always on the left side, blues on the right and the whites in between. Do they assume that we pull packets straight from the box with the labels already facing the same way. And I understand the need to pacify a child but have they not been provided with crayons and an activity book or perhaps an etch-a-sketch? I sometimes wish there were a built in tip per child with as much effort as it takes to see one of these parties through a service and I’m saying this as a mother of two. Let’s compare. If a typical service looks something like this:

• Greet table, get drink order
  
• Make drinks
  
• Bring back said drinks
  
• Tell specials to table and take order
  
• Ring in order 
  
• Maintain refills 
  
• Check quality of entrées after they arrive
  
• Remove plates upon completion of entrées
  
• Offer dessert or after dinner drinks
  
• Present check
  
• Accept payment
  
• Process and return payment
  
• Thank guest and invite them to return
  
• Clear remaining items on table
  
• Wipe and reset table for new guests
  

Then a service involving children will look something more like this:

• Greet table, get drink order
  
• Make drinks - Go to cooler to get milk, stop by dessert station to get chocolate syrup, mix chocolate milk, stop by bar for “extra cherries” for Shirley Temple 
  
• Get plate of crackers for baby
  
• Bring back said drinks and crackers
  
• Tell spec…wait, Mom interrupts and asks if I can ring in chicken fingers for kids because they are hungry and therefore, have now become my number one priority
  
• Ring in chicken fingers
  
• Return to table
  
• Tell specials
  
• Repeat specials, Dad couldn’t hear over the kids
  
• Take order
  
• Ring in order
  
• Maintain refills - Back to cooler for milk, dessert station for chocolate syrup. Mix chocolate milk. Back to bar for “extra cherries”
  
• Check quality of entrées after they arrive
  
• Bring new fork, baby threw his on floor
  
• Remove plates upon completion of entrées making sure to remove cracker wrappers, crumpled baby wipes, sugar packets, and French fries scattered among table
  
• Offer dess…wait, Mom interrupts again asking for check. Baby is upset and therefore my number one priority has shifted to getting them out immediately
  
• Present check
  
• Accept payment
  
• Process and return payment
  
• Thank guest and invite them to return (hopefully on my off day)
  
• Clear remaining items from the table 
  
• Unpeel sticky placemat and spend five minutes trying to wipe off adhesive residue
  
• Wipe crumbs out of booth
  
• Wipe down highchair and return it to it’s proper place
  
• Pull table out of way to sweep up fries, cracker crumbs and a half eaten chicken finger
  
• Retrieve baby’s thrown fork from underneath table
  
• Reorganize sugar caddy, 10 pinks, 15 white, and 10 blues all labels facing the same way
  
• Polish sticky finger prints off of sugar caddy
  
• Reset table for new guests
  

Wow, see the difference? Now call me crazy but I just don’t feel like 20% or more typically 15% (I mean c’mon they are a family on a budget) of $4 chicken fingers quite cuts it for the extra service. Some may think I’m being unfair but hey, it’s my blog.