Be Nice to Your Server

With this next post I would like to let everyone in on what seems to be a little known fact.  It’s pretty profound.  Ready?  Server’s are people, too.  It’s okay to treat them with the same courtesy that one  would extend to a friend.  Truth be known, a guest who is polite to a server will probably get better service.  Crazy concept, I know but true none the less.  I would say (and my colleagues would agree)  that about half of the tables that I greet have a dialogue that goes something like this.  The comments that stay in my head I will put in parenthesis.  

Me:  “Hello, how are you doing today?” 

Guest:  “Fine.”

Me:  “That’s wonderful.” (I’m fine also, thank you for asking.)

And even some go like this: 

Me:  “Hello, how are you doing today?”

Guest:  “Water.” 

Me:  There is no response from me here, I’ve already left to go get the water.  Obviously to this guest, each syllable is a waste of breath. But as I walk away I can’t help but think (How does one have a “water” day?)

Some guests will continue their conversation when I approach the table and not even acknowledge my presence.  I will never interrupt a conversation between guests because it is rude.  It is obvious that I am not a part of their party or conversation so my mere presence should be cue enough that I have a purpose for being there.  It is  completely understandable that a guest should be able to finish a point they were making and then turn attention to the server but when there is a stopping point and that opportunity is not taken to acknowledge the server, most of us will kindly step away from the table and come back to get a drink order at a time that is more convenient for the guest.  Some servers will choose to teach a lesson in manners this way.  My approach is quite the opposite.  I opt to “kill them with kindness.” After all it is obvious that they missed out on their lesson in manners.  Or they have mistaken my job title which is server for a similar one but one that is completely wrong;  servant.  Either way I use what little time I have to drop as many manner “hints” as I can at the table hoping that maybe they will take even a small part of that with them.   

Servers are not only ignored at the greeting of a guest but all throughout the service.  Today for example I had a lady that had over half of her entrée left on her plate but was clearly done eating for the time being.  While reaching for the plate I informed her that I would be happy to box the rest of her food for her.  Immediately after the words left my mouth she spun toward me and snapped, “I want a box for that” as if I were trying to steal her food right from under her nose.  My response, “Certainly.” (Really lady? I just said that three inches away from your ear.)  Also I can’t even count how many times I have been describing our specials for the day which ends with the daily vegetable only to be asked immediately after, “And what is your daily vegetable?”  As if I have forgotten to mention it.  (Really?  Those were the last words that just came out of my mouth.)  On occasion when I walk by my table to ask if my guests entrées are prepared to their liking I get no response at all as if I had just asked to question to a brick wall.  If the average guest sits at my table for an hour then I would say I am probably only physically at the table for five to seven minutes.  Is it too much to ask of a guest for five minutes of focused and courteous attention in the span of an hour?  Apparently so to some people.  I hope with this post that people will pay more attention to their servers but more importantly to simply be kind.  I’m not asking too much.  I don’t want to be buddies.  I only want my position as part of the human race warrants me:  common courtesy.  It’s as simple as that.